I prefer writing long, serious novels but sometimes, largely for my own entertainment, I try less serious, thought-provoking. satirical and humorous stories. Here are just two examples:
FOUR MEN
Published free on Smashwords and Free EBooks
A humorous and satirical tale of four white, middle-aged men no longer willing to be part of the group that’s blamed for everything that went wrong in the past, is blamed for everything that’s wrong right now and expects to be blamed for everything in the future.
The Red Lion Pub is where they usually meet and nothing’s off limits be it political correctness, bureaucracy, equality legislation, gender issues or “demanding and bossy women with too much power, money, make-up, shoes and handbags.”
Can they achieve what they all want - a fresh start?
Doctor A. Sinnick with his overbearing woman ‘boss’, Mrs Pettifer, is the only one with a proper job and money, but Sinnick can only stay sane by writing anonymous letters and poems to annoy those in authority and by talking to his imaginary friend, Freud, who sits at a control panel inside Sinnick’s frontal lobe.
Quentin Kelp has just lost his seat as a Member of Parliament to a twenty-six-year-old Liberal and teacher of creative writing called Prudence Bottomley who wears a pony tail and beige cardigan. What on earth would such a woman know about running the country? But now Quentin is hurting and needs a new challenge.
Unemployed accountant Charlie McTavish is nothing like his rough Hell’s Angel looks suggest. If proof was needed that Charlie is in far more need of assertiveness training than either of his two past wives then look no further than his current transport, an underpowered Honda moped and his home, a tiny, windowless room above a Chinese take-away.
And then there’s Paddy O’Brian, the Irish owner of a struggling fish and chip shop whose wife Maeve took the Ryan Air flight back to Cork as soon as she caught her first whiff of hot chip oil and left Charlie to run the business alone with only his collection of Irish novels and poetry for company.
NOTE: Both Doctor Sinnick and Quentin Kelp have festured in previous books and articles I've written.
Quentin, for instance, featured regularly in Spoof magazine for a while until his politics became a little outdated and he got what he wanted - a referendum on UK membership of the EU.
Reader Reviews
Published free on Smashwords and Free EBooks
A humorous and satirical tale of four white, middle-aged men no longer willing to be part of the group that’s blamed for everything that went wrong in the past, is blamed for everything that’s wrong right now and expects to be blamed for everything in the future.
The Red Lion Pub is where they usually meet and nothing’s off limits be it political correctness, bureaucracy, equality legislation, gender issues or “demanding and bossy women with too much power, money, make-up, shoes and handbags.”
Can they achieve what they all want - a fresh start?
Doctor A. Sinnick with his overbearing woman ‘boss’, Mrs Pettifer, is the only one with a proper job and money, but Sinnick can only stay sane by writing anonymous letters and poems to annoy those in authority and by talking to his imaginary friend, Freud, who sits at a control panel inside Sinnick’s frontal lobe.
Quentin Kelp has just lost his seat as a Member of Parliament to a twenty-six-year-old Liberal and teacher of creative writing called Prudence Bottomley who wears a pony tail and beige cardigan. What on earth would such a woman know about running the country? But now Quentin is hurting and needs a new challenge.
Unemployed accountant Charlie McTavish is nothing like his rough Hell’s Angel looks suggest. If proof was needed that Charlie is in far more need of assertiveness training than either of his two past wives then look no further than his current transport, an underpowered Honda moped and his home, a tiny, windowless room above a Chinese take-away.
And then there’s Paddy O’Brian, the Irish owner of a struggling fish and chip shop whose wife Maeve took the Ryan Air flight back to Cork as soon as she caught her first whiff of hot chip oil and left Charlie to run the business alone with only his collection of Irish novels and poetry for company.
NOTE: Both Doctor Sinnick and Quentin Kelp have festured in previous books and articles I've written.
Quentin, for instance, featured regularly in Spoof magazine for a while until his politics became a little outdated and he got what he wanted - a referendum on UK membership of the EU.
Reader Reviews
- Mark rewhorn
Short but amusing
I could relate to an awful lot in this all too brief book.
- Mosinghi clinton
loved mostly the accountant character
ooh i loved the accountant, am also an accountant, though i think am ending up better off than his situation, because I am extra disciplined with my finances, i save and invest am now 26, but loved the irony and satire in the books, the women of now days, it was worth a read.
'God's Factory' is FREE on Smashwords at: https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/457466
In this short story, Godley gives lessons on money-making to a strange but very quiet visitor.
Sitting in his white leather, executive chair behind his white desk, Godley pontificates about his success to the visitor who sits silently in rapt attention.
Godley can talk endlessly and knows all there is to know about opportunism and money making. It started, we learn, with swindling a boy out of his sausage at school lunch. Godley's knowledge has no limits and success is there for all to see from the Bentley parked outside the front door next to the sunflowers ("they have such big heads and rise above everything else") to the thick pile Chinese carpet - given in return for once helping a Chinese man find "a bit of flooze around Harrod's in Knightsbridge".
And Godley's business?
He runs Godley's Garden Gnomes from a rundown, old, red- brick factory but it's really the front for his main venture, Godley Investments. Godley is a loan shark with a couple of big boned salesmen and a trouble shooter - Titibola. "Six foot three, huge tits and a face like Joe Frazier."
And his mysterious visitor?
Well, he turns out to be someone claiming to be his Chief Executive out on a trouble shoot.
"You can't just take a company name without it being ratified - particularly one called Godley Investments. I already own the trade name, the brand name and the marketing and distribution rights. With your track record, I wouldn't even be willing to grant you a franchise."
We never find out whether Godley's frightening experience changes his ways but, like a short, twenty first century version of Charles Dickens "A Christmas Carol", he certainly learns a few lessons and perhaps others might as well.
In this short story, Godley gives lessons on money-making to a strange but very quiet visitor.
Sitting in his white leather, executive chair behind his white desk, Godley pontificates about his success to the visitor who sits silently in rapt attention.
Godley can talk endlessly and knows all there is to know about opportunism and money making. It started, we learn, with swindling a boy out of his sausage at school lunch. Godley's knowledge has no limits and success is there for all to see from the Bentley parked outside the front door next to the sunflowers ("they have such big heads and rise above everything else") to the thick pile Chinese carpet - given in return for once helping a Chinese man find "a bit of flooze around Harrod's in Knightsbridge".
And Godley's business?
He runs Godley's Garden Gnomes from a rundown, old, red- brick factory but it's really the front for his main venture, Godley Investments. Godley is a loan shark with a couple of big boned salesmen and a trouble shooter - Titibola. "Six foot three, huge tits and a face like Joe Frazier."
And his mysterious visitor?
Well, he turns out to be someone claiming to be his Chief Executive out on a trouble shoot.
"You can't just take a company name without it being ratified - particularly one called Godley Investments. I already own the trade name, the brand name and the marketing and distribution rights. With your track record, I wouldn't even be willing to grant you a franchise."
We never find out whether Godley's frightening experience changes his ways but, like a short, twenty first century version of Charles Dickens "A Christmas Carol", he certainly learns a few lessons and perhaps others might as well.